I’m going to make a bold claim, as an older brother ten years removed from my sibling, that it’s hard to relate to him. Perhaps I have forgotten what it was like, being that age, and seeing the world in that different way, that mixed bag of extremes and simple, innocently testing fun. Today, the reality was brought home that perhaps I still am very much like him after all.
See, it’s not often that I actually talk with my little brother, no, on the contrary, I half-heartedly listen at the best of times and ignore him at the worst. There’s that to add to my list of faults. I realize that interests change with time and age, yet if I could go back in time and look forward, I would be astounded at how little interest I now show in those little adventure books, in card games like Pokemon, or even in building with LEGOs. Yeah, that last one is an actual problem.
So today (realize I began this the day of, but failed to see it through until now), after seeing him moping about on the couch for some odd reason (I assumed that he didn’t want to eat his lunch), I decided to talk to him to try and persuade him to get ready for an activity he had later. As it turned out, he wasn’t sad for that reason at all.
No, what was causing distress was a picture he’d been drawing. I believe the one in question was of a car, and he’d grown frustrated with a wheel’s roundness of all things. Ah, if only the worst of my drawing problems was a lack of circular perfection! He was beating himself up about it, burying his face in the pillows of our couch. When I got to him at last, he was tearing up a bit, saying he’d never be as good as well… me.
It’s an oddly vicious cycle of comparison. To compare to those we see as great is a balance, and I’m sure most would agree. We tend to be partially inspired, and more often than not, discouraged! Especially when we perceive a gap in what we have versus what they have. So when I sat down next to him to tell him how I wasn’t the greatest by any stretch of the imagination, I could truly understand where he was coming from for once. It was one of those situations where nothing is lost in translation, and one aspect that – unfortunately in certain senses – is not lost as we grow.
We lose heart when we realize that we either have a long way to go to reach what we perceive as great (which, by the way, might change to passable in our eyes when we actually get there), or simply think the task impossible. One of those times where the word “never” comes to mind.
Is perfection subjective? I don’t think so. The word for that is perhaps the ideal. What to us is the ideal, the standard by which we measure success? I’m sure we can all think of answers to that. The ideal picture of life… the life I can pretty much guarantee we won’t ever have.
Perfection on the other hand, is – I believe – objective, but there are many roads to that singular goal. One only has to take the Saints. So many unique travels, yet they came to that perfection which is holiness. Unity with Christ. Oh, to only truly long for such a thing.
However, to make the most and best of time on earth, I have some word of advice, and honestly, a bit of self-motivation at this point.
Don’t get lost in chasing an image. Have an ideal, have a goal, sure, but don’t forget your own unique abilities. While you may find a whole number of similarities between yourself and someone else, don’t try to become their carbon copy. I know that’s easier said than done, but all we can do is our best, right?
It’s like my old gaffer said… no I’m just kidding, this awesomely hilarious priest said something similar is all. To paraphrase for universality’s sake: “We are not called to be Saint Therese, or Saint Padre Pio, or Saint Josemaria Escriva, or – you get my point.
We are called to be Saint _____.” So put your name there, sign that line (for those with longer names, I am so sorry that it’s a tiny line), make the commitment to strive for it. It is beyond imperfect ideals, beyond the standards set by this flawed world.
I don’t say that to push you to sacrifice the pursuit of good and beautiful skills such as art, writing, leadership, a career, and all that. No, not at all. All I mean is that… there is more to our destinies than that.
So to return once more to the picture of my younger brother in distress over his artwork, we all have to start somewhere, right? Should I have told him that this question of “can I ever be good enough?” would never leave him? Did I perhaps give him false hope by encouraging him to move forward, and just draw and draw, over and over? Should I have taught him that he would have to do the same with every step of his life’s journey?
Because you see it now, don’t you? Life is the canvas, and we’re all artists. And maybe we have some idea of where the line will fall, maybe we already have an idea of what we want to draw out… but we can never be sure until it’s truly on the page.
P.S. My bad, I did say it would be “brief” in the title.